The secret to stronger teams and smoother projects
One-on-one meetings are one of the most underrated tools in a project manager’s toolkit – when done effectively. While they might seem simple – just you and a team member having a chat – when approached properly, they can boost trust, uncover problems early, and keep your projects running smoothly. That said, when you’re buried in deadlines and fighting off scope creep, one-on-ones often become rushed, awkward, or even worse, rescheduled indefinitely.
Over the last two decades I’ve helped thousands of new project managers navigate the ins and outs of their projects and what I’ve seen across the board is this: the project managers who lead strong one-on-ones are the ones with fewer surprises, stronger teams, and smoother projects. These meetings aren’t time-wasters. They’re leadership in action – the kind that leads to better performance from your teams, stronger alignment with your stakeholders, and fewer unpleasant surprises.
In this blog, we’ll break down how you can transform your one-on-one meetings from a formality into a superpower, and for those of you who are new, we’ll also talk about something that makes a lot of junior project managers nervous – when someone senior to you requests a one-on-one. Let’s dive in.
Key takeaways
- One-on-ones are powerful tools for trust and team performance.
- Avoid treating them as simple status updates; they’re for connection and coaching.
- Consistency builds credibility; cancelling frequently erodes trust.
- Preparation and follow-up turn good meetings into great ones.
- Listening is more valuable than talking.
- Structure and agendas prevent wasted time.
- Emotional intelligence helps with tough conversations.
- Senior-level one-on-ones require both preparation and confidence.
Why do one-on-one meetings matter when you’re a project manager?
Why project managers can’t afford to skip one-on-ones
First, let’s get crystal clear on why you need to make time for one-on-ones. Yes, you are busy as a project manager, and those one-on-one meetings are easy to overlook when your plate is full. Between deadlines, stakeholder updates, and the usual project curveballs, it’s tempting to either rush through them or cancel altogether.
But these meetings are one of the most powerful ways to keep your project and your people on track.
When done well, one-on-ones give you the space to connect, course-correct, and coach. You get to understand where your team members are thriving, where they’re stuck, and what’s really going on before little issues turn into big problems. These meetings help you build trust – and trust is the foundation of every successful project team.
Now, if you’re not sure how to make the most of them, or you’re worried about awkward silences or uncomfortable conversations, don’t worry. We’re going to walk through some common pitfalls and then I’ll show you exactly how to run these meetings effectively.
What are some common one-on-one pitfalls?
Mistakes project managers make in one-on-one meetings
A lot of my students tell me they feel like this, especially when things get busy. If we don’t set these meetings up properly, we can accidentally turn them into something unproductive, or worse, something your team dreads.
Here are some of the most common pitfalls I see project managers fall into with one-on-one meetings:
- Using it as a status update: If you’re just running through tasks and deadlines, that’s not a one-on-one, that’s a status update, and you’ve got other tools for that. I recommend building updates right into your action plan. The one-on-one, on the other hand, is a chance to focus in detail on one task or issue and how it connects to larger project goals.
- Treating one-on-ones as optional: If you’re constantly rescheduling or cancelling, it sends a message that this meeting, and the person, are not important. Over time, that leads to disengagement and poor performance.
- Talking more than listening: Project managers are great at directing traffic, but sometimes we forget to pull over and listen. These meetings are your opportunity to really hear your team member and understand what’s working, what’s frustrating, and what they might not feel comfortable sharing in a group.
- Winging it: Walking in with no agenda usually leads to surface-level or off-track conversations. A little preparation goes a long way; we’ll explore exactly how to prepare in the next section.
- Forgetting to follow up: A great conversation means little if you don’t take action afterward. Always circle back on items discussed to build trust and accountability.
One-on-one meetings are only as effective as the intention you bring to them. The good news? Avoiding these mistakes is completely doable.
How can you level up your one-on-ones as a project manager?
Practical tips to make one-on-ones effective
Now that we’ve looked at what not to do, let’s focus on what works. Here are five tips will help you turn your one-on-ones into something your team actually looks forward to – and more importantly, something that drives real results.
1. Be intentional with scheduling
Set a regular cadence that makes sense for the person and the project. That might be bi-weekly or monthly. The key is setting clear expectations and being consistent. When you stick to them, it sends a clear message: “Your time matters. I’m here to support you.” That consistency builds trust – a foundation of every high-performing project team.
2. Prepare with purpose
One of the best ways to set your one-on-ones up for success is by having a standing agenda. This could be as simple as a short list of recurring questions or a quick agenda you send ahead of the meeting. It keeps the conversation focused, avoids surprises, and helps your team member come prepared.
Before the meeting, review:
- Key issues or risks to discuss
- Deliverables that need your review before wider distribution
- Interpersonal conflicts that may need resolution
- Opportunities to mentor or coach
When you walk in with a plan, you’re not scrambling – and that shows respect for your team member’s time.
3. Follow through and close the loop
At the end of each one-on-one, summarize key takeaways and next steps. Record them in your notes or agenda, and then follow up – whether by logging an action item, sending a recap email, or checking in next week. Follow-through shows that their input matters and builds credibility as a leader.
How to best create space for your team to talk?
A one-on-one meeting with your project team member isn’t just about what you have to say. Give your team member room to share thoughts, raise concerns, and flag issues without fear of being dismissed or rushed.
Ask open-ended questions and really listen. That means no jumping in with fixes or assumptions, just listen. The quiet moments might feel uncomfortable, but they often lead to the most honest answers.
Should you record your meeting?
This is another reason why you need to rethink recording meetings – because people aren’t as forthcoming after you hit record. Resist the urge to take note of everything that’s said, and focus on being present and listening well instead. Save a few minutes at the end of your meeting to recap what was covered and ensure you’re both clear on any next steps.
For more on how to listen effectively, check out this video from Simon Sinek on The Art of Listening.
How to approach more difficult performance conversations
If you’re having a difficult performance conversations, use an After Action Review (AAR) structure that follows this format:
- What was supposed to happen?
- What actually happened?
- What can we learn from this?
This removes emotional charge and makes tough discussions constructive. It also helps to keep the same issues from being repeated.
Instead of saying something like, “You need to be more proactive,” use the AAR approach in this way: “I can see based on our plan we were supposed to deliver our client’s document last week. I noticed that it’s been delayed. Can you walk me through what happened? And, is there anything we can do in the future to ensure this doesn’t happen again?” That kind of approach creates a safe space to have the honest conversations you need to have.
Related: Dealing With Underperforming Team Members?
Why giving and accepting feedback is key
Don’t forget, in one-one-ones with your team members you can ask for feedback too – in fact, if you’re invested in your own development, that’s something you should be doing. A simple question like, “Is there anything I can do differently to support you?” shows your team that you’re invested in improving, not just directing.
Being able to accept feedback is vital for professional success.
How to prepare for one-on-ones with senior leaders?
This comes up often for newer project managers when a senior person reaches out wanting “to talk.” Instead of panicking, get prepared. Ask ahead: “Can you tell me what we’ll be discussing so I can prepare?”
Use your project documents to support the conversation
Bring your core project documents – project charter, priority matrix, scope statement, and change control form. That way, you’re prepared for anything that’s thrown your way, like adding to the project scope, changing the timeline, or even clearing up misinformation.
Whatever you’re asked, you can simply go to your documentation and pull out whatever details are being relevant. The documents will support you in keeping the conversation grounded in facts if scope, timelines, or priorities shift.
Be prepared, be in control, and most important, don’t take anything that is said personally. Draw on your emotional intelligence to listen to them and understand their perspective so you can make the right decision – one that aligns with larger project goals and organizational strategy. As the Institute of Project Management notes, emotional intelligence is a key driver of project success.
Most of all, be confident in the role you play. You’re leading the project. That means you do have a voice, even if you’re the youngest or newest person in the room. The confidence will come, and in the meantime, preparation goes a long way.
Related: The Mindset of the Best Project Managers
Final thoughts on effective project manager one-one-ones
One-on-ones might seem like just another meeting, but when led with intention, they become one of the most valuable leadership tools you have. You don’t need to be perfect – just present, consistent, and clear about your role in supporting your team.
And if you’re working on building confidence as a project manager, or if you want more tools and guidance on the interpersonal side of project success, check out my SLAY Project Management course. It’s built on practical, proven knowledge from two decades in project management and designed to help you lead all your projects with confidence.
FAQs
Most project managers find that bi-weekly one-on-ones strike the right balance. However, the ideal cadence depends on project complexity and team size.
Focus on progress, challenges, professional growth, and team dynamics – not just task updates. Keep status reports separate.
Typically, 30–45 minutes is enough. The goal is to have a focused, meaningful conversation without dragging it out.
Prepare an agenda, listen actively, and ask open-ended questions. When your team knows you’re genuinely listening, the awkwardness disappears.
Which of these 4 ways can I help with your project needs?
- Want to learn five things to do at the START of every project to bring it to success? Check out my free webinar.
- Want a practical, step-by-step guide to managing projects? Check out my SLAY Project Management online course.
- Looking for expert project coaching? Check out SLAY PRO.
- Ready to start making organizational gains? My SLAY Corporate Project Management Program helps companies fix project-related issues.
